2018 Bachelor - Week 8 Update

As I stare at the blank screen in front of me, I’m not sure how to recap this week’s episode. Maybe it’s Seasonal Affective Disorder, maybe it’s the fact that I’ve watched 6 hours of the Bachelor television in the last week*, or maybe I just miss GLITTER-Krystal. I’m not sure, but last night’s episode was officially “meh”.

Arie went to LA, Minnesota, Arkansas, and Virginia Beach to meet the families of the remaining contestants. Essentially it was the same date, 4 times over. Here’s the core similarities:

• Arie to the contestant : “I’m nervous to meet your family. What will they think of me?” Contestant: Smiles awkwardly with a glimmer of recognition knowing that her family will think she’s lost her flipping mind as she desperately tries to convince them that it’s true love. “Just be yourself!”

• Loud makeout session with Arie insisting to touch the contestant’s head, messing up their gorgeous barrel curls

• Over-protective father figure making death threats about Arie “hurting his little girl”

• Flashback to 1950 where Arie asks the father permission to propose to the contestant. ABC producers edited out the part where Arie specifically identifies the number of cows he’s willing to offer in exchange for the courtship. We can only wonder.

My favorite moment of the evening was Tia’s backwoods father greeting the Bachelor with a firm handshake and smiling “Nice to meet ya, AIR-ey”, and then incredulously laughing and saying “wut?! I just met ‘em!”. At the rose ceremony, we said goodbye to our southern gal Raven v.2 Tia.

*Official review of the Bachelor Winter Games: It’s horrible and an absolute waste of braincells. Will I be watching it again this week? Abso-freaking-lutely. Also, who’s starting the petition to make Ben the Bachelor one more time because #SWOON