2018 Bachelor - Week 9 Update

Friends – We’re officially in the home stretch of this season of the Bachelor. I say this with a sigh of relief. After 5 hours of Bachelor Winter Games last week (featuring me ugly crying as Ben Higgins left the house), 2 hours of “The Bachelor: The Women Tell All” on Sunday, and another 2 hours last night, I’m prepping for the 3 hour finale next week, and then am ready to reclaim my Monday nights.

I’ll never understand why it took 120 minutes to reveal what we already knew - that obviously our “open to cannibalism”, taxidermy-loving, commitment-resenting broad, Kendall, was never making it to the top 2 (Sorry Anja).

On one of the most cringe-worthy/most anticipated episodes each season - Arie took the remaining contestants to Peru for the Fantasy Suite dates. For those of you who are new to the franchise, at the end of each 1:1, the couple has the opportunity to forgo their individual rooms and ~spend the night together~ in the fantasy suite. Given that I work with all of you, I’ll stop there to avoid any complaints to HR. Consult a trusted advisor if you have additional questions.

Kendall’s date was meh as Arie refused to make eye contact with her whenever he tried to feign interest for her feelings (Arie’s poker face is worse than mine) and the highlight of Lauren’s date was Arie dropping the “I love you” bombshell.

The best part of the episode happened after Becca’s boring 1:1 where she repeatedly (and at first glance, seemingly randomly) kept mentioning her ex-boyfriend of seven years. The morning after the fantasy suite, Becca was greeted by her former beau, Ross, standing outside her room in Peru, attempting to win her back. We’re informed that the surprisingly attractive ex learned that Becca was on the Bachelor during last week’s hometown dates, somehow magically figured out that the cast was in a remote area of Peru, and flew across the globe to propose. As a fan of Bachelor Nation, I’ve refined the art of suspending disbelief whenever I tune into the show, however, it was a tough pill to swallow that the producers didn’t know about Ross’ pursuit at least 2 days in advance, given the obvious priming during the interview.

The most interesting takeaway from the surprise visitor, if you’ll kindly allow me to share: To all gentlemen, and to the ladies who advise them – listen carefully. If you’re going to travel AROUND THE WORLD to try to win back your ex, you’re going to need to spend a little more than $5 at the gas station to buy a proper bouquet for flowers. Put in a little effort, PLEASE.