2018 Bachelorette - Week 9 Update

Ah fantasy suites - the most delightfully uncomfortable episode of the season. The evening starts and … honestly no clue. I join 10 minutes late from a hotel in lovely Pittsfield Massachusetts and am immediately bored. If it wasn't for my passion for endlessly ridiculing this series, I might have just gone to sleep.

I join midway through Blake's date, and I'm immediately so dis-interested that I FaceTime my mom from my ESTATE of a hotel room to give her a tour (I have TWO MINI FRIDGES - are you kidding me?!). Focusing back on this disaster of a TV show, Becca "wakes up" the morning after her first fantasy suite date and somehow has a perfect, full face of makeup. Her suitor is truly going to be in for a rude awakening when they realize that those eyelashes are as fake as the thought of actually finding "love" on this show.

Next, we jump to Jason's date. One moment they're chatting and the next, Becca is having a mini-meltdown about not being able to fake it with him anymore. This is a really great place for a joke about “faking it” and fantasy suite dates, but alas, for another time and another place.

The last 1:1 with Garrett is unremarkable, mimicking every other interaction with him on this show.

ABC is clearly short on content because the last 20 minutes of the show is an absolutely unnecessary rose ceremony. My guess is that they couldn't get their deposit back from renting out a backyard in Thailand, so they decided to just go for it.  With 2 guys and 2 roses, it's like watching a game of Musical Chairs but with enough seats.

Because ABC has no respect for my time, next week it's "The Men Tell All", and then two weeks until the finale. Yikes.