2018 Bachelor - Week 5 Update

Last night’s episode started off promising with a trip to Fort Lauderdale. It appears that ABC blew the week’s budget on renting a private yacht for Chelsea and Arie’s 1:1, as the remainder of the episode included Chelsea eating dinner with Arie in a garage, the girls going bowling on a group date, and Tia & Arie spending the day at a crazy man’s house in the Everglades.

Arie continued on his track of disappointment by licking a bowling ball (with no visible prompting) and when touring the expansive overview oasis in the penthouse suite, he humbly remarked “oh that’s a cute little patio you’ve got there!”. What a catch.

Just like Taylor Swift in the Look What You Made Me Do video, Maquel briefly ‘rose up from the dead, she does it all the time’ and returned to the show after leaving for her grandfather’s funeral last week. Unfortunately, Marikh, Ashely and Maquel (for real this time) were eliminated, despite the remaining contestants silently chanting/screaming for the immediate dismissal of drama-loving Krystal.

Also important to note that Kendal confirmed that while she would be open to being a cannibal, she reassured Arie that she would not eat him, specifically. Good to know.

In closing, I’ll wrap things up with the inspirational and insightful guidance provided by our girl Krystal.

“I’m done. GLITTER.”