2020 Bachelor - Week 10, Night 1

Happy Night 1 of the finale!

I opted to skip the recap last week because it was the most predictable 20 minute episode, followed by a Women Tell All that did absolutely nothing for furthering female empowerment movements. The racist homewrecker, Victoria F, got sent home, and then Rachel Lindsey appeared to tell everyone that internet bullying is bad. Maybe I should rephrase my last sentence?

Part 1 of the finale starts off with Chris Harrison finally promising that we’ll find out what Peter’s mom has been crying about all season (“BRING HER HOME TO US, PETER. BRING HER HOME!). The evening starts off with Hannah Ann meeting his family, and we know Mrs. Weber isn’t talking about her because that sad little puppy dog would follow Peter off the side of a cliff. The date goes fine and I have 2 questions: 1) Why did Hannah Ann need to show off her cleavage to impress Peter’s mom? and 2) Can someone please buy this girl new makeup because her face is 6 shades lighter than her tan chest? The date was just like Hannah Ann during fantasy suite week….easy.

Next we go to Madi’s date, and before she could even get inside to meet his parents, we need to spend another 20 minutes watching Madi $lut-shame Peter for thinking with his little Peter during fantasy suite week. Once they finally get inside, I’ve never seen a meet-the-parents go so poorly. Peter’s Mom is wearing the same outfit as the “BRING HER HOME TO US” clip, which means that it is SHOW TIME! Not 5 minutes in, Madison needs to explain to Peter’s Mom, Dad, and brother that she has these things called “standards” and she isn’t going to f*ck their son/brother. The family is unable to hide their disappointment.

Madi then spends 1:1 time with each person in Peter’s family and has to repeatedly talk about how she’s not going to sleep with him and that she was upset about that he slept with Hannah Ann. It’s so awkward. Peter then sits down 1:1 with his brother who straight up asks Peter if it’s possible for him to keep it in his pants before he marries Madi. If Peter wasn’t acting like a whiny little teenager, the whole exchange would be laughable. Then Peter’s mom tearfully describes Hannah Ann as an “angel on Earth” and Madison as a “sweet girl”. Then she FINALLY has the meltdown I’ve been waiting 10 weeks for. BRING HANNAH ANN HOME TO US. Ah I feel so satisfied. It’s SO WEIRD. “HANNAH ANN IS WILLING TO F*CK MY SON. SHE IS A GODSEND”

The next day, Madison and Peter go on a final 1:1. They take a private helicopter ride to take in the sights of central Australia. They’re dropped off in the middle of nowhere for a glass of champagne. Madison choose this moment, when there are absolutely no Ubers around for hundreds of miles, to say that she’s throwing in the towel with Peter. Man it must have been awkward waiting for the car to come pick her up.

Hannah Ann gets her last 1:1, and I really want to tell her she doesn’t need to be trying nearly as hard, but at this point, you just have to appreciate the athlete playing her game. In the evening portion of the date, Hannah is looking incredibly hot in this gorgeous, revealing brown dress and she is WORKING IT. Peter literally shows up in a hoodie. And in that moment, I know that things aren’t looking good this Earth angel. We’ll see what happens tomorrow!